Diary of a Young Girl Go to Top

Love is sacrifice. To those whose love is unrequited, and still did everything they could to keep showing the man they love the love that she is willing to give, love is a sacrifice. It didn’t matter choosing the career path you disliked, as long as he’s there. It didn’t matter how you looked desperate, as long as you’ll be liked by his parents. It didn’t matter doing unmanly tasks, as long as it’s for him. Sometimes because we love someone, we disregard ourselves. We disregard our own happiness because we put someone else’s first. But in the end, after those sacrifices, it still didn’t mean that he’ll end up with you. Sometimes all your sacrifices are put to waste, because God has better plans with you. And you can’t do anything but close your heart to that person, and open your heart to a new person that’s willing to sacrifice himself for you. (RM)

Love is longing. To those whose love is to distance herself from the man he loves. To the point that every time she sets her eyes into someone, it turns out to be his face. Or the music that suddenly played while she was walking was the same song when she danced with him. Or the voice of someone behind her was the same as his. And it’s not called hallucination, it’s longing. Sometimes even if you were apart from someone, what makes the love always there, is the ability to long for him. For couples, it’s always better to keep on longing for your partner when he’s away, because that means you keep on thinking about him and longing also means caring, and as long as you care for someone it means you still love him. (DR)

Three reasons why I keep on pushing you away:

i. I am nothing but a mess. Being with me will bring no good to you. I swear, I always fuck things up. I can never be good enough for you and I am nothing but a mistake. I don’t want you to experience misfortunes because of me. I don’t want you to feel sad because of me. I push you away not because I do not like you. It’s because you mean so much to me that I do not want to cause any harm to you.

ii. I will disappoint you countless of times. Yes, darling. I am a living disappointment. It seems like I cannot do anything right. I hope you see the flaws in me and eventually give up on me. I don’t want you to stay any longer with me. There are a lot of people who can make you happy twice as much as I do. I push you away not because I do not want you. It’s because you mean so much to me that I do not want see a frown in your face.

iii. I want to see if you would still bother coming back to me after I pushed you away. I want to know if you would love me despite of my fucked up attitude and my flaws. I want to know if you’d bother telling me that I am perfect and that you don’t mind suffering the consequences of being with me. I push you away not because I do not love you. It’s because you mean so much to me that loving me back the way I do would be so nice. 

  • Him: I notice things about you eh, the way you sit down, the way you position your legs, the way you look over your shoulder, the way you smile, the way you walk, the way you squint your eyes when you laugh. It's super attractive. I also notice when you use your phone, absent mindedly, your mouth forms this almost pursed shape, not quite a kiss, not quite a frown.Your posture when you lean in on your phone. Basta, andami kong napapansin sayo. I love every little thing about you babe.
  • The way you speak, when you speak straight tagalog, then suddenly speak english in a accent even though you hate using an accent. The way you'd argue with me in english, then give up and say "whatever..." Sexy. Wala lang, you're amazing. I Love You. I just like noticing things babe, from a distance, for different people. I just find yours so interesting.
  • Minsan cute and adorable, minsan borderline sexy.
Kung mahal nyo ang isa’t isa, hindi hadlang ang ibang tao.

Minsan hindi marunong makisama ang tadhana. Alam naman natin yun diba? Nasa saatin na yun kung paano tayo makikipagsabayan sa tadhana. Dadating at dadating ang panahon na may mga taong ayaw o tututol sa dalawang taong nagmamahalan. Maaring dahil hindi sila pabor? Maaaring naiinggit? Maaring bitter? At maaari ring bitter lang. Kahit ano mang rason, dadatin at dadating ang mga “kontrabida” sa isang lovestory. 

Kung iisipin, parang mahirap kasi di natin maiaalis na may pakialam tayo sa opinyon ng ibang tao dahil ayaw natin magmukhang masama o panget o ano pang negatibo. Minsan maiisip natin kung mali ba o tama. Walang mali sa pagmamahal. Ang pagibig ay isang napakahalagang biyaya o bagay. Paano magiging mali ang bagay na iyon? Nilikha tayo na abilidad na magmahal. Siguro minsan naiisip natin na mali ang pagmamahal dahil sa sitwasyon o lugar o mga tao o ano pa man. Pero kung tunay kayong nagmamahalan dapat handa kayo sa ano mang pagsubok. Kung hindi man sang ayon ang mga bagay bagay o mga tao, wag nyong isipin na mali ang pagmamahal. Isipin nyo na sa lahat ng bagay na mali, yung pagmamahalan nyo ang tama. Wag nyong isuko. Kayo mismo ang gumawa ng paraan. 

Kung ayaw ng mga tao o may mga tutol? So what? Sila ba ang mamahalin mo? Sila ba ang masasaktan if ever? Sila ba nasa sitwasyon mo? Ikaw lang. Ikaw lang ang nakakaalam at nakakaramdam, ikaw lang ikaw. Hindi ko sinasabing maging selfish ka. Walang masamang isipin ang iba. Pero tandaan mo ang prayoridad mo at ang pinakaimportante, at yun ay ang sarili mo at yung taong minamahal mo.

“Muntik na akong nagka heart attack dun ah. Akala ko naman nalimutan kong mag-anon. BUTI NALANG. Hahahhahahaha! Alam mo kasi nakakatuwa love story niyo. Ang sweet! Tapos ang galing mo pang mag blog. Parang inspired na inspired talaga. :D Papakilala? Kakahiya. Napakachismosa ko na yata eh. Haha”
-Anonymous

I dont mind, please pakilala ka na. I wanna be friends. :* 

“Oo yun nga! Haha! Pero okay lang sa kanila na magka-bf ka na? Magkapareho lang kayo ng papasukang skwelahan sa college? Magkaparehong lugar lang? Hindi sa kabilang baryo o ano? Parang nagiging masyadong matanong na ako ah. Haha! Okay lang din po kung di mo sagutin. Maiintindihan ko naman po. Ang kulit ko talaga.”
-Anonymous

Hahaha natutuwa nga ako sayo eh, promise! Pakilala ka na. Hmm hindi kami parehong school eh. UST sya, St. Scho ako. Nakapasa din ako sa UST kaso ayaw ng parents ko kasi mamamatay ako sa byahe tsaka di rin naman pedeng dorm kasi only child ako. Pero malapit lang naman UST sa St. Scho, isang jeep lang. Haha. Pakilala kaaaa!

20 months.

1 year and 8 months. 20 months na kaming nagaaway ni Pao. 20 months na kami naghaharutan. 20 months na kami nagmumurahan. 20 months na kaming naglalambingan. 20 months na kaming nagpipikunan. 20 months na kaming nagaasaran. 20 months na kaming naglalaitan. 20 months na kaming nagmamahalan.

Kami na ata yung pinakabipolar na magkarelationship. Haha. Ngayon magaaway kami, magsasagutan pero after 10 minutes, “Babe kumain ka na?” ulit. Sobrang thankful ako. Kahit na kami yung relationship na tipong 24/7 or araw araw may argument, hindi nababawasan yung love namin. Kahit na minsan tipong matitigilan nalang yung mga kaklase namin at mapapatingin samin dahil nagsisigawan o nagsasagutan nanaman kami, maya maya kami parin yung magkasama kumain at umuwi. Wala eh, kahit siguro magsaksakan kami, hindi parin namin matitiis ang isa’t isa. Hahaha. Kahit na magmurahan kami ngayon or maglaitan, maya maya malulunod na yung inbox namin ng “Babe pansinin mo naman ako oh.”

Kahit na maraming pinagtatalunan, thankful ako sa klase ng relasyon namin kasi totoo kami sa isa’t isa. Pag nagaway kami, hindi na namin kailangan magbolahan pa o gumamit ng mga pampalubag loob, straight to the point kami. Nasasabi namin lahat talaga ng hinanakit namin, hindi namin kinikimkim. Mas okay na yun diba? Mas okay na masaktan sa katotohanan kesa matuwa sa kasinungalingan. 

So ayun, 20 months ang still going stronger.

“Parang narinig ko rin yan sa MMK. Ganyan rin tulad sa storya niyo. Mejo. :D Pero graduate na sila sa college ngayon. Napanood mo yun? Tapos sa side mo po okay sila na magka-bf ka?”
-Anonymous

Yung kay janella salvador? HAHAHAHAHAHA GANUN NA GANUN. YUNG MGA KAIBIGAN NAMIN INAASAR KAMI NA KAMI DAW YUNG NAGPADALA HAHAHAHAHA. Sa Side ko, di pa nila alam pero gusto nila si Paolo. :)

“Ano po? Ayaw pa po nila magka gf siya? Hindi pa po pala alam ng mama niya nung time na hinatid niya si Pao nung magmi-meet kayo sa Ahead? Eh sayang naman eh. Bagay na bagay po kayo eh!”
-Anonymous

Alam nila. Actually nung una, okay naman sila sakin, chill lahat. Kaso nitong mga nakaraang buwan nagkaissue. Diba kami magkalaban sa Valedictorian? Nagkaissue dun. Basta long story. Haha. Pero okay lang, ang mahalaga okay na okay kami ngayon. :)

Possessive?
  • Nakapagenroll na kasi sya.
  • Me: Block ka? Good good. Less people. Less girls.
  • Him: Majority of biochem...girls (Biochem kasi course nya)
  • Me: PUTA SINO BA NAGSABING MAGDOCTOR!!! Magkarpintero ka!!!!!!!
  • Him: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH SUNGIT.
  • Me: TANGINA MO AKIN NA COPY NG SCHED MO. SUSUNDUIN KITA.
  • Him: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.
  • Me: LALAGYAN KO BAKOD UPUAN MO GAGO.
  • Hindi naman ako possessive, ano po?
“HI ATE! FAN NIYO PO AKO!!! FROM NUO TO TOE. LOVE PO KITA. PWEDE PA KISS?! ♥ :*”
-darlaleng

who u po? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA JOKE. OI BABAE I MISS YOU. :*

“Sayang naman yun. Si Pao po? Legal na rin kayo diba sa dalawang sides niyo?”
-Anonymous

Nope. Haha. Actually, alam ng family nya but they dont like me. Hahahahahahahaha funny right?

“Nakapasa ka po sa U.P.? Ang kyut niyo ni Pao. :D”
-Anonymous

Nah. Nirecon ako ni mama sa UP manila kasi mataas naman at pasok sa cut off nila, kaso walang slot. HAHAHAHAHA 


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